I've had the sane Teddy bear since I was four months old. Wrote a poem about him once. Sort of like "Mirror" by Sylvia Plath. You, know, pretending he's watched everything I've done through my life. Anyway, today, he sits on a shelf in our living room. He has on an old grey T shirt that my nephew wore as toddler. This is because there are so many little holes in his nick. Every once in a while some yellow foam pokes it's way out.
Poor baby! So many battle scars because I needed so much protection. His two feet of reddish brown shag is fading and wasting away. The white on the bottoms of his feet, now a dingy brown. His eyes are really coming off...nope, they are not the originals! This guy's had a lot of surgeries in his life! But like I said, in the poem I wrote:
"As long as I could grab you're neck when the lights went off... Who cares?! Who knew that grown up child is still afraid of the dark?
I think that all that says we're grown up...is that we pretend we're not! Really.
Anyway, my first Christmas I got him. My Nana bought him for me.
She's the one who sang to me about Jesus at night.
A tangible reminder that that she thought the world of me... The way a great grandma would!!
I really think that for any of us... This is all we really want... To feel safe in the dark, I mean.
Whether it's through the valley of a tough decision, or along the rocky road of a relationship, or an unexpected relocation that has feeling outta place.
We want that combination f fluffy soft.... But strong protector to shield us from the bad.
At the end of the day...it's just us in our bed with our thoughts.
Sure, maybe we're blessed with a partner... But conditions inside are known only to us, would you agree?
Anyway, this shaggy bear from the 70's tells me
"you are very loved!"
This makes some of the dark valley's not so bad...like a strength that comes up on the inside, from times past.
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