I've seen some posts today that have to do with what shooter Adam Lanza's mother should and should not have done. They say she took him target shooting and should've known better. She kept loaded weapons in the house, and (apparently) should've known better because her son was mentally ill. They say that she should have sought treatment for him, and (apparently) did not. This to me is heartbreaking because parents are human beings just like anyone else. They cannot be with their kids all the time, and must learn to trust them.
Why can't we just give this mother (who's now lost her life) the benefit of the doubt and say that she didn't know? Suppose she was just trying to to provide her son a place to live and be there to try and support him? It is quite possible that she had no idea the extent to which her son needed help, and very literally, did not know what hit her just a few days ago. In my opinion, this poor woman was only trying to protect herself and her family. Her guns (if I'm correct) were all registered and legally purchased. It seems to me that teaching her son to shoot them only proved that she was attempting to use them properly. She wanted him to know how protect himself. How could she possibly have known he'd use one on her? Goodness! Tragic. Simply tragic all the way around. It can be very difficult to tell (especially when someone is particularly reserved) whether there are certain issues going on below the surface. In the case of Lanza...there obviously were (we know now).
The anguish and anger and grief are overwhelming. Twenty six innocent people are dead, and we the public are needing to know "Why" because our hearts are bleeding for these families. For the Lanza family, they must now, in the face of their own grief, deal with the stigma and labeling by the public, because of all that could've possibly gone on in the mind of the shooter. The next question can tend to center on why his parents never got him any help when he was a child. What if they simply did not know?
For the Lanza family, not only are they grieving right along with everyone, their grief and shock are most likely severely multiplied because they are related to the shooter and to his parents. I would imagine it pretty likely that many of them are pleading with themselves, wondering whether there's anything they could've possibly done. I think that we must remember as we grieve along with the parents who've lost children, that this must be a terrible weight for the Lanza family to carry.
It grieves my heart to think that some in their anger and pain, would proclaim them guilty by association, and treat them with scorn, comparing Adam's mother to a mother who (does the RIGHT thing) and seeks help for HER son. How many individuals are simply quiet and withdrawn because of normal, human awkwardness? This is not a crime, and should not be treated as such. We cannot allow ourselves to treat everyone with cruel suspicion simply because they do not fit a mold of what we believe to be normal. Pray for the Lanza family, and all of those tragically affected by the Newtown shooting. They are human, and they are hurting too.
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